Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
