if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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