he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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