An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just gift wrapped bread.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
