you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
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You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
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multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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