so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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