I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
