I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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