Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
