People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
