were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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