Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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