I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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