I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
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Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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