I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
