i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
