you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
