you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
