He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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