Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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