I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
