I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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