in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize