Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize