i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
