This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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