somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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