I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
high people should be assigned attendants
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The air was thick with penises
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
