i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
