He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
