so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
