Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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