her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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