i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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