is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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