Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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