You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
