Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
my shit smells like andre
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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