I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
