The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize