Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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