I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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