For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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