I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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