Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
