I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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