He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
