Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
this boner is exhausting
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
