she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize