Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
