im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
