you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
