a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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