I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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