The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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