Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just tell him i said nine months
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
