it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
