I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize